Is these lyrics good or horrible?

I was so shocked about Schindler's list that i wrote this.





Here it goes theirs passion,they're lyrical assassin


Believing miracle are mythical,making nations spiritually lackin


Their saten I'm realizing,people fakin but exercising


Beliefs that thieving,this evil takes them in by excerpts;lyin


Their alliance is just bitchin',clients have soulless visions


like magicians;while i believe science over their religion


Their making life an illusion, husband and wifes losing


Cause of lies they choosing, childrens die in the movement


That's been killed of the hail, this is where hitler failed


Brutally killing people prevents them to touch the rihter scale


Years later I'm pissed, I'm illiterate I insist


But I don't think holocaust exist but ignorance is bliss


Don't want to know the detail, like human skin sold in retail


It's known in these tales that people got stone in the jails


Let put the past behind, use a box and cast it inside


Or else it'll shatter your, it'll put glass in your eye.

Is these lyrics good or horrible?
It sounds like you're just finding words that rhyme together and then throwing in a bunch of other words... It might flow well, but the content doesn't really make sense. Your use of multies is pretty good, but don't try to sound like Canibus and rhyme about all types of random ish. Good work though.
Reply:wow
Reply:These lyrics are actually pretty good. They could use a little improvement, I reccomend what I do in going back and rewriting it. Sometimes you'll realize that sommething else is a better fit.
Reply:wow i think its pretty good, just maybe go back and edit sum lines that sound a little awkward lyrically.
Reply:its good. have you heard "never again" by remedy (associated with wu tang fam) its about the same theme. i'd advise you to try and write raps now in the same way you wrote this one (which is good) but think about someone you hate and write in the same style using metaphors etc about someone you hate (namely: wack mcs) and then post it up, id be interested in reading it
Reply:Don't take this the wrong way, but No one cares about your lyrics....





Its the delivery that baits, weak listeners in to listening what your actually talking about.........








dont ask this question on Yahoo Answers, go to your nearest Barber Shop and ask them what they think of you..........





o and yea, it does sound like your just finding words to rhyme with............





just let it flow and roll with it.
Reply:They are good, but there is much room for improvement. And please work on your grammar.
Reply:That's quite deep. When I first would write rhymes I would go back over them some days later pull out all the parts that don't make heaps of sense and try and expand the good bits.


For a 15 year old you've got years to improve on your style but you have the groundings of a talented writer. When you say this rhyme or others do the lines flow together good practice saying them out loud as you write them and you'll start to write in a fashion that suits saying the rhyme as you write it.

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