Are these Lyrics any good ?

Sever The Link





Verse1





Close your eyes and go to sleep


Im the voice inside you head


Im chapter 5 your chapter 2


Im the part you havent read


walking through your mind


im finding all your flaws


Walking through your mind


Ive unlocked all the doors





Chorus





So cut the rope and set your mind free


Spread your wings and circle the sea


pull the wires and sever the link


your mind is yours to do what you think





Verse 2





open your eyes, take it all in


outside is waiting, to smother your skin


set the bench mark and follow your greed


What you desire is what you will feed





Chorus





So cut the rope and set your mind free


Spread your wings and circle the sea


pull the wires and sever the link


your mind is yours to do what you think

Are these Lyrics any good ?
It's cool.. The lyrics are nice and have deep meaning.. I like it a lot! =) For a beginner it's a nice start!! Keep up the good work! =)
Reply:awesome!
Reply:yeahh.
Reply:that is like totally really very very very good, fantastic, well done you. starred...
Reply:yep good


wow thats deep
Reply:yup. theyre really nice. :)
Reply:I love it, star!





Marwah
Reply:It takes balls to put your poetry out there. Congrats for that.





Your first verse loses some of it's meter after the first four lines.. did you mean to write it as a bridge? Might be more effective that way...





continue.. good luck!
Reply:its pretty good


i even got the melody while reading through to it
Reply:Fantastic, would make a great song.
Reply:yes.i am a songwriter.take a listen..www.myspace.com/thomasjosephandm...
Reply:Yeah yeah yeah that is amazing I'll look for you on iTunes :]
Reply:Sounds good to me
Reply:i love it beaker u r so deep and u really do interest me!well done hun keep it up!
Reply:i think you may have a number 1 there thats really really good not long enough though
Reply:I like it, but it sounds forced at times...my advice would be to just write it naturally, not worried about the music behind it. Don't worry so much about the rhyming and meter, just write what you want to say, ya'kno?





But I do really like these lyrics. Especially the "open your eyes, take it all in/ outside is waiting, to smother your skin"
Reply:Pretty cool!
Reply:great!!! atleast your not on the writers strike
Reply:It's lovely
Reply:Is it a rock song.If it isn`t it should be.Excellent lyrics which need a good strong rock beat.
Reply:wow thats really good, not that im an expert but still!! i thought it sounds gorgeous, dont know what tune you'd put to it but could be a poem or a performance poem, anyways hope ur good xxx
Reply:Its good. would love to hear it to accompnient but it's very poetic! good work.
Reply:interesting lyrics wonder what it would sound like with the music behind it,im assuming it would be a ballad but i could be a bit presumtious in my assumption,why could'nt it be a rock/punk/emo song.love the feel of it though.well done.
Reply:hey! don't give them away; you cuold make some moolah from them
Reply:They are excellent. Have you copyrighted them? One way to do it is by sending a copy of them to yourself using special delivery, so that the date is on the package. Don't open the package. Keep it closed in case you need to use it if someone steals your lyrics.


Good luck!
Reply:That's fabulous perfect to someone who truly in-love! Well, Mr. Beaker, keep it up the good work!
Reply:It was (as usual) very beautiful. Awsome poem x