So what do you think of these lyrics?

My head rests on his chest


and I hear his heart


I hear it speaking, it tells me it is beating


for me.





We are sitting around, talking with friends


drinking beer, watching the game on cable


and I don't think he is thinking of me


until his hand catches mine,


palm to palm, our finger interwoven


under the table





His eyes when he sees me


when he comes to get me


after work


tell me I am more beautiful


than any woman


who has ever walked the earth





At the concert moving together,


having a good time


afterwards when our friends are talking


his eyes meet mine and I know what he is thinking





When I make a joke, he understands it


he never thinks


anything I say or do is foolish





He takes my hands and pulls them in


and wraps them round his heart


and somehow his surrender


pulls my defenses all apart





I don't know how this happened


but somehow here I am


and


my eyes, they miss the sight of him


and my ears strain for his voice and step


and my skin longs for the feel of him,


for his scent, his taste


I ache

So what do you think of these lyrics?
How the heck did you get inside Moonbelle's head and steal a poem intended for me? I am telling!!!
Reply:kl u could get rich
Reply:niceee .
Reply:That was pretty cool. Check out poetry.com for some more inspiration and to chronicle your poems :) They have poetry contests too, and I think this one is worthy.
Reply:good.





i would better judge if i had a melody.
Reply:I'm stealing them. LOL J/K. They are pretty sweet ^_^. Well done
Reply:i love itt :]





you serve a star!
Reply:Very good
Reply:i reallly like it :)
Reply:nice
Reply:HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF MAKING POEM BOOKS!?!?! It's amazing. My best poetry has 5 words:


I can't write a poem


lol
Reply:That was very beautiful and moving! You are a great writer.
Reply:nice poem ... as song lyrics? eh not something i would buy
Reply:well I'am a guy so personally it sucks but i have all sisters and they liked it sorta
Reply:there is no rime.. but very touchy.. :) good luck
Reply:It flows more like a poem than a song. Where is the chorus? It needs a hook to keep people's attention...create the hook and you have yourself one hell of a song.
Reply:Righteous
Reply:I've been a musician for all my life and a song writer almost as long. Your lyrics are very good. I like them ......and I tend to be very critical of others' songs
Reply:very nice!!!





you know, you could post it here http://www.deviantart.com





:)
Reply:Honestly, I Thought That Was Horrible..


The Idea; SomeWhat Generic..


And No Flow What-so-Ever.








"We are sitting around, talking with friends


drinking beer, watching the game on cable


and I don't think he is thinking of me"





It Sounds Like poorly Written Folk Lyrics.


%26gt;%26lt;
Reply:I liked it as in I do dabble in poetry also.. I loved the words and your feeling as you wrote this. Do something with this..I know its easier said than done. Keep it up..(use a little rhyming in your verses..)
Reply:Lucky guy. Nice poem.
Reply:incredible