I am writing a song and need you to rate my lyrics lol like feedback please xxxxxx?

verse1


my feelings seep into your skin


my worries whirling deep within


all my emotions are in your heart


like another me or just another part


when we hug u make me feel alive


no where to run nowhere to hide


we shud show our love publicly


then reality clicks back so suddenly


that this all this is in my mind





chorus


willu ever no how i feel about you


will you ever no that my feelings are true


will you ever see whats right in front of you


will you ever no that i love you


i think you get the message now


well do you ??





write whatever you think lol xxxxx thnx xxxx

I am writing a song and need you to rate my lyrics lol like feedback please xxxxxx?
It's not always true that lyrics flow from music, it really depends on your writing style. I write from the tune but others may not. I've heard of doing it both ways. Shruggs. So what is the style of music here? I think I see country in it definitely. I write mainly country. If you'd like to email me personally and talk more about your music I'd be honored.=)
Reply:it was really good - it could be used as a song or a poem





keep going - uve got an eye for this!





gud luk wiv wot u do next xxxxx
Reply:I like it, I just don't get the 'that this all this is in my mind'. Why not this all is in my mind. But it depens on the tune, although reading it through a few times has changed my opinion now. Good stuff though.
Reply:Amazing song/tune.





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The reason I gave it four because I don't know the actual beat heehee
Reply:The chorus is good though it is always difficult with lyrics without hearing the music. You seem to have squeezed a few too many words into one line in places, for example, then reality clicks back so suddenly. I would write 'then reality's back so suddenly or reality clicks back suddenly. Do you see what I mean. Bring the lines back to the essence of what you are trying to express and it will have more impact. Good luck.
Reply:cool, rhythmic, mind soothing, no hip-hops, n every adjective 2 say that it is a very peaceful song...........wonderful n keep it up
Reply:i write poems alot, and i think this is awesome!!! i give you 5 stars *****
Reply:i think it is good --- i'd liked to have seen the second , and /or third verse to make it work really well for me . but hey ! keep at it . good luck.
Reply:it needs a decent tune with it but a good start
Reply:Decent...But lyrics flow from MUSIC....You need music before you can write...
Reply:I Think it is Great I give you *****!!! Keep up The GREAT WORK!